tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25337721432597866292024-02-20T17:23:39.553-08:00From ACOA to Daughter of Godreintjes1991http://www.blogger.com/profile/01376499292114210621noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2533772143259786629.post-47343588142066046682018-05-21T12:20:00.001-07:002018-05-21T12:52:42.118-07:00Part 2 - Only 5 Days Later<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
So the problem with declaring that you
are going after the devil with full intentions of kicking his a** and
doing so in front of all ten of the people that read your blog is
that then you kind of have to........a-hem......do something. Like go after
the devil and kick his a**. Or you look sort of dumb.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I made that grand declaration here: <a href="http://teamreintjes.blogspot.ca/" target="_blank">Reintjes Chronicles - 2048 Days</a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
After I hit publish on that blog post
and had time to think about my little tirade, I may have had second
thoughts and wanted to delete it. But I figured that by the time I
did, maybe two people would have taken time out of their days to read
it and then I was already accountable to them. Damn.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
It has been a few days and I haven't
dethroned satan yet, but I am taking the threat seriously. So, step
one. I went to church, after I hadn't had the energy to go in a long
time. And lo and behold if the sermon wasn't about kicking the devil
in the a**. Huh. (Well, maybe it wasn't worded exactly like that,
but totally the same idea.)</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
And then I was gifted a very
encouraging conversation. And then I went for prayer and just said,
“I am not sure what I need prayer about.” And then proceeded to
receive prayer for a new “mission”. Then as we were leaving, my
husband reminded me of a conversation that I had wanted to have a few
months ago with our youth Pastor. So I went and had the
conversation, and the youth Pastor's response? “I've been praying
for someone to ask me that question.” Huh.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
So, that is probably the most
instantaneous resolution of one of my little fits of spiritual crazy
that I have ever experienced. Take that devil.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
So now I feel like I have to explain
why I seem obsessed with the devil. As that might be a little
concerning to some people. Firstly, I would like to mention a fact
that was mentioned in the sermon last night and that I have felt in
my spirit to be true since I started understanding I had a spirit.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The most effective scheme the enemy has
right now for a culture such as ours is to lull us into a false sense
of security and spiritual dullness and to MAKE US BELIEVE HE DOESN'T
ACTUALLY EXIST. After all, if we are just going with his program and
not causing any waves, our days will pass and before we know it, they
are over and we wake up and realize what we have missed.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Secondly, I grew up in a violent,
alcoholic home. I made stupid choices as a teenager that put me
smack dab in the middle of the kingdom of darkness – even though I
knew they were stupid choices. At least one of those choices almost
cost me my life. I did not know Him at the time, but He knew me.
And He saved me from my own stupidity.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The topic being discussed at the first
home group I ever attended happened to be, “satan and spiritual
warfare”. Interesting. You don't normally start “newbies” off
with that particular topic. But my spiritual mentors at the time did
not mess around and thank goodness they did not. When I heard about
the kingdom of darkness, bells went off, flood lights snapped on, and
my whole entire existence suddenly made sense.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I had an enemy and he had been after me
my whole life. It made more sense than anything else had ever made.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Wisely, after providing me with this
revelation, my mentor explained that Jesus was the answer to the
meddler. If you picked God's team, the devil was likely to lose
against you every time. It seemed like a no-brainer to me, I picked
the right team.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
In the 20 or so years since that home
group, I have been given ample opportunities to experience the loving
side of God and the people He calls His. He is always my main focus. </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But the part of me that usually rises up in any sort of spiritual
situation is the one that wants to kick the enemy's a**. I think
that is the part of Jesus that was destined to crush the serpent's
head, the part of Jesus who returns and “treads the winepress of
the fury of the wrath of God Almighty”. </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
There is not much gentle
about that Jesus, that is a warrior Jesus.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
And I am not sure why, but there's just
always been something about that Jesus...<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQFQzyHncig" target="_blank">I've Got the King</a><br />
<br /></div>
<br />reintjes1991http://www.blogger.com/profile/01376499292114210621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2533772143259786629.post-1569364472748699072018-04-25T10:57:00.000-07:002018-04-25T10:59:12.264-07:00Why Would(n't) I Write?<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Why would I write?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
It may be the only 'talent' I
have. Although, I understand if anyone wanted to challenge that how
I babble on about stuff may not be considered a talent.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
A great counsellor friend of mine says,
“We all have the same worth, but we all have varying degrees and
numbers of talents. So what Kingdom contribution are you going to
make with your talent?”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #6600ff;">I
WANT EVERYONE I </span>
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #6600ff;">LIKE
/ LOVE / DON'T REALLY EVEN KNOW, </span>
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #6600ff;">TO
PARTY WITH ME </span>
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #6600ff;">IN
THE NEW HEAVEN AND ON THE NEW EARTH. </span>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i>“Then I saw “a new heaven and a
new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed
away....” </i> Revelation 21:1 (NIV)</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Because the new heaven and the new
earth? - they are going to be gooders. Everyone should be there. So
if there is a chance that I can write something about Jesus that
someone hasn't thought about before, then that would be worth it.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I want to be like Jesus. And He talked
about the Kingdom of God A LOT – explaining exactly what that
Kingdom is can be confusing, I admit. But here is one good summary:</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“...the kingdom of God is God’s
reign — his sovereign action in the world to redeem and deliver a
people and then at a future time finish it and renew his people and
the universe completely.”
(<a href="https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/what-is-the-kingdom-of-god">https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/what-is-the-kingdom-of-god</a>)</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I would write because usually when I
talk, things don't wind up sounding like they should. And I cannot
edit the swear words once they have been launched.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
There is a certain comforting anonymity
to writing. You aren't directly confronted with another person's emotional response to what you have to “say”. I know...internet
trolls. That's okay, mostly I can delete them.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I can sit at my computer in my pyjamas
and it is only my kids yelling at me to turn down my music.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
It is kind of a duty. I don't think I
should hoard all the awesomeness of Jesus. In fact, I am highly
encouraged not to hoard.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i> “Publish his glorious deeds among
the nations.<br /> Tell everyone about the amazing things He does.”</i>
Psalm 96:3 (NLT)</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Why wouldn't I write?
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i>“If anyone causes one of these
little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be
better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and
to be drowned in the depths of the sea...” </i><span style="font-style: normal;">Matthew
18:6 (NLT)</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
That is freaking
terrifying. I would never want anything I write to cause someone to
question the goodness of God, the realness of Jesus or the presence
of the Holy Spirit.</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
What if what I have
to say doesn't matter to anyone?</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Internet
trolls...but, you know...delete.</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
So, why would I
write? I guess, why wouldn't I?</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
________________________________________________________________________________</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Just in case, here's another link about
the Kingdom of God / Heaven:</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.ucg.org/the-good-news/why-dont-people-understand-the-kingdom-of-god">https://www.ucg.org/the-good-news/why-dont-people-understand-the-kingdom-of-god</a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<br />reintjes1991http://www.blogger.com/profile/01376499292114210621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2533772143259786629.post-48624098915653748782016-06-12T13:13:00.001-07:002018-01-13T09:57:22.230-08:00The Greatest In the Kingdom of Heaven<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="color: red;">Matthew 18:1-5 (NIV)</span></i></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: red;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: red;"><u><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="en-NIV-23729"></a><i>The Greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven</i></u></span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: red;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="color: red;">"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”</span></i></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: red;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="color: red;">He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them.</span></i></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: red;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="color: red;">And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me."</span></i></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i>https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+18%3A1-5&version=NIV</i></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I forget this - so easily. I am so busy trying to a good job of being an adult, that I forget that I am not actually supposed to be. And yet, all day long, I am surrounded by children and their ideas and their ways of looking at the world.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
So I should smarten up and listen to them.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
My nine year old has asked me three times in the last two weeks.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Mom, can we just invite people to go to heaven with us?"</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
My 'adult instinct' tells me to launch into a lecture about how it really isn't that easy, how there are big important adult things to consider such as sanctification, justification, transformation and probably other 'ations'.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But in these last two weeks, as my mouth opens to begin the lecture, a smaller, quieter voice says, "SHUT IT, tell him 'yes'". And so I have, I have said,</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Yes, nine year old, it is the exact right thing to do. Invite everyone you love and everyone who crosses your path to come to heaven with you."</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But here's the catch. His current circle of influence is fairly limited, due to the fact that he cannot drive, isn't allowed to walk by himself any further than the park on the corner and he doesn't like spelling. So for him to sit down and type this and send it into cyberspace would take about two years. But not me.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
My fifteen year old just finished her grade 10 humanities course, handed in the last assignment set this morning. We home school, so it is my job to sit with her and try and decipher the stuff neither of us are very good at deciphering. I have learned A LOT. The last unit was about 'recovering the voice of the marginalized'.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
For me, the tricky thing about gaining knowledge is that once I have attained it, if I don't do something with it, I feel less than stellar. So I have these two pieces of knowledge that have collided in my head these last couple of days - we need to look at the Kingdom as a child would and we need to be the voice of the marginalized - and unless I do something with these pieces, I am going to feel less than stellar.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Right now my nine year old is in a marginal position. He has an important invitation to extend, but really no voice to extend it. So it is my duty to send it for him. If I had half the guts he does, I would have just sent out the invitation myself, a long time ago. But it has taken a child to wake this one up.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
We had been discussing the return of Jesus, when He comes to collect the believers - and apparently, this is how a child would approach said situation. He would look at all his friends and the people he loves and he would ask,</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Hey, this is my God, He is alive, would you want to come to heaven with me?"</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
And it is as simple as that.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i style="font-family: "times new roman", serif;"><u><span style="color: red;">John 6:26-29 (NIV)</span></u></i></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i style="font-family: "times new roman", serif;"><u><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></u></i></div>
<div class="western" style="line-height: 0.58cm; margin-bottom: 0.26cm;">
<span style="color: red;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="en-NIV-26284"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="en-NIV-26285"></a><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>"Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.”</i></span></span></span></div>
<div class="western" style="line-height: 0.58cm; margin-bottom: 0.26cm;">
<span style="color: red;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="en-NIV-26286"></a><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Then they asked him, “What must we do to do the works God requires?”</i></span></span></span></div>
<div class="western" style="line-height: 0.58cm; margin-bottom: 0.26cm;">
<span style="color: red;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="en-NIV-26287"></a><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.”"</i></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="line-height: 0.58cm; margin-bottom: 0.26cm;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+6%3A26-29&version=NIV</i></span></span></div>
reintjes1991http://www.blogger.com/profile/01376499292114210621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2533772143259786629.post-60361549120684678652014-02-19T09:14:00.002-08:002014-02-19T09:16:55.977-08:00Hey Country Girl<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have a secret to tell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The reasons I feel it should be a secret are muddled to me:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>probably something to do with being judged, a
little bit of not wanting to put my heart out there where it can get kicked
around, and a lot to do with wondering if anyone would care anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The reasons I feel like I should share my secret are more clear
to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe that when we decide to
share - it can help set someone else free who might think they need to keep
secrets or stay hidden because they are ‘different’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe it is powerful when we don’t feel
like we have to stay hidden any more - then we can accept fully who we and are
free to accept others fully for who they are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And wouldn’t it be a lovely world if we could all accept each other
fully just the way we are?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kind of
utopian. Heavenly even.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So here’s my secret:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Jesus speaks to me through music; and not just any music, but country
music.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gasp!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh no!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Zut alors!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She did not just say
that??<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus speaks to her through
country music?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That has got to be on the
list of blasphemous things to say, somewhere, wherever that list is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I am also a huge fan of contemporary worship music, quite
regularly have to listen to Disney soundtracks (and can manage not to grimace)
and have one or two 80s rock songs that bring back um…memories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I appreciate the Lord of the Rings
soundtracks and there is a smattering of other musical pieces out there that I
can connect with. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
But when I am struggling with life or self-esteem or
something else deep, the answer for me is going to come from one of a few
places, the Bible, a worship song or some country lyrics.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I didn’t even realize I was hiding this fact about myself
until I was at a prayer meeting one night and the facilitator prayed something
along the lines of “Jesus wants to sing a new song over you, listen quietly and
see if you can hear what it is.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
didn’t have to listen quietly; I knew instantly what it was because I had been
captivated by a song throughout the week that reminded me of how in love Jesus
is with me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It had been blasting relentlessly; my kids were sick of it,
I am sure the neighbors were sick of it, even the dogs and cat were sick of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I couldn’t get enough of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So then we were asked in the prayer meeting to share what
songs we had heard, one lady mentioned a lovely old hymn, another, an upbeat
tune from I am thinking the seventies, and on it went.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there I was with not only a country song,
but a country-RAP remix of the song that contains some inappropriate lyrics and
has a video that I tell my kids they have to close their eyes to watch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can bet I didn’t share.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I guess I figured it would be better to blog about it and
potentially have twenty people find out than the ten that were in the prayer
meeting??</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
But anyway - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>this
particular song SPOKE to the empty spot in my soul and I know beyond a shadow
of a doubt that Jesus was trying to get across to me the intensity of His love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
He was beaten and died on a cross for anyone who wants to
believe that - and that is more than enough to prove how intense He is, but at
the moment I heard THAT song for the first time, He knew I needed a reminder. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I was worn down with the daily grind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a bunch of first world problems; the
most distressing one at the time being that I am a country girl trapped in
town, on a busy road where I have to yell at my kids to watch for idiots
driving too fast in a school zone and to hurry up and let the dog in before the
neighbors call the SPCA and bylaw on us again.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So I knew I needed to pray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I began by asking God to change my heart, change my attitude and at the
time - I didn’t know it - but I felt like I needed to change ME.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Make me a city girl God, let me be excited
about being only a five minute walk from Wal Mart and thankful for the
playground directly across the street despite the traffic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take the longing out of my heart for dirt
roads and freedom and cabins in the woods.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
And I expected to hear, “Thank you for admitting your bad
attitude, let’s get that fixed up, we will get you ship shape and turned into a
city girl in no time and you will LIKE it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now, don’t ever complain about that stuff again.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
But guess what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That
is not what I heard.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I began scanning You Tube for appropriately sad country
tunes to complement my woeful mood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
had run through all the trusty stand bys and came across a new one; called
Cruise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, that’s right, not only is
it country rap song…it is a truck song with a swear word in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know, it just keeps getting worse and
worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus spoke to me through a truck
song with a swear word in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s
probably on the blasphemous things to say list as well - if I could find that
gosh darn thing.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It would be hard for me to describe exactly all the ways
these particular lyrics moved me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But hands
down the ones that meant the most, that I felt coming directly from Jesus
Himself were the last four lines.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
My windows down, my seats back,<br />
My music up, and we ride.<br />
Her legs up on my dashboard,<br />
And it's just the way I like.<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hey,
country girl, this country boy<br />
Like everything about you.<br />
Don't change a thing, no way.<br />
You stay the same, I got you.</i></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="textzeph-3-17"><sup><a href="http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/floridageorgialine/cruiseremix.html">http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/floridageorgialine/cruiseremix.html</a></sup></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="textzeph-3-17">It is difficult to explain how
exactly I ‘felt’ it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Imagine a massive,
unexpected surge of adrenaline – that’s about as close as I can get.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that’s how it is when Jesus speaks
through the Holy Spirit – you just KNOW.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="textzeph-3-17">Yup, He’s got me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just the way I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And while that doesn’t necessarily mean I will be freed
from town, it does mean I am free from the worry that there is something wrong
with me if I don’t like it here or if I dream about pick up trucks and hay
bales.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s just the way I like it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="textzeph-3-17">Go ahead, listen, what is He
singing over you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Don't stress </span></span><span class="textzeph-3-17"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span class="textzeph-3-17">if it doesn't line up with what everyone else hears</span>. </span>It’s okay…you don’t
have to keep it secret. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He already
knows; it’s in His heart too.<sup><br /></sup></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span class="textzeph-3-17"><sup>17 </sup>The </span><span class="small-caps"><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span></span><span class="textzeph-3-17"> your God is with you,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="textzeph-3-17">the Mighty Warrior who saves.</span></i>
<i><span class="textzeph-3-17">He will take great delight in you;</span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="textzeph-3-17">in his love he will no longer rebuke you,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="textzeph-3-17">but will rejoice over you with singing.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Zephaniah 3 (NIV)</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<i><span class="textrev-12-10"><sup>10 </sup>Then I heard a loud voice in
heaven say:</span></i><br />
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="line">
<i><span class="textrev-12-10">“Now have come the salvation and the
power</span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="textrev-12-10">and the kingdom of our God,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="textrev-12-10">and the authority of his Messiah.</span></i>
<i><span class="textrev-12-10">For the accuser of our brothers and sisters,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="textrev-12-10">who accuses them before our God day and night,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="textrev-12-10">has been hurled down.</span></i>
<i><span class="textrev-12-11"><sup>11 </sup>They triumphed over him</span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="textrev-12-11">by the blood of the Lamb</span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="textrev-12-11">and by the word of their testimony…</span><br />
<span style="mso-tab-count: 5;"> </span><span class="textrev-12-11">Rev. 12:10-11 (NIV)</span></i></div>
reintjes1991http://www.blogger.com/profile/01376499292114210621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2533772143259786629.post-91884264263683498812012-10-25T10:11:00.000-07:002012-10-25T10:11:46.258-07:00Because I Have To<div style="text-align: justify;">
In a perfect world, our picture of God comes from our parents. This is not a perfect world. That however, does not change the fact that God still desires for us to have a picture of Him. And because He is God, He can come up with some pretty creative plans - B, C or ZZ - when plan A does not come to pass.</div>
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<br /></div>
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In my particular situation, God has used my kids to show me how He would parent me. Somewhat backwards, but it is what it is - plan B.</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
When you grow up in an abusive or neglectful environment, 99% of your life is spent 'doing what you have to do' to survive. Usually you are not presented with opportunities to make sound and reasonable decisions. So you develop a 'do or die' set of instincts. You become adept at quickly choosing the lesser of two evils. You learn to make 'right' decisions for all the wrong reasons. You often end up doing things you really don't want to - but think you have to.</div>
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This is not how God the Father wants us to come into our relationship with Him. And here is how that revelation just came to me.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My kids have grown up with maybe an eighth of the strife in their young lives that I grew up with. I am not begrudging them that, in fact I am so grateful for it, it can bring me to tears at times. But I have noticed in them lately this 'strange' attitude of 'why do we have to do this'? It shows up everywhere; school work, emptying the dishwasher, feeding the dog. A common saying around here has been, "Fine then, I'll do it if I have to." It has been driving me nuts.<br />
<br />
And then this week, everything kind of hit the fan. Trying to spend vast quantities of time with people who only do things 'because they have to' is kind of exhausting. I would much rather spend vast quantities of time with people who <i>want</i> to do stuff. So, I gave my children all the appropriate lectures on the options they had if they just couldn't bring themselves to deal with the things I was asking them to do. That is actually kind of putting it mildly. I basically had a fit. And my husband got an earful too, just for good measure.<br />
<br />
Even God wasn't going to escape this tirade.<br />
<br />
"Where on earth are all these people getting this crappy attitude from?"<br />
<br />
But He, unlike my kids and my husband, was ready for me.<br />
<br />
"They get it from you."<br />
<br />
Well, that is a tirade stopper.<br />
<br />
And instantly, no thinking, no analyzing required, I knew He was right and I knew where I got it. And worst of all, I knew I had been approaching pretty much everything I do - the exception probably being Facebook Scrabble- with that crappy attitude. Including my relationship with Jesus. "I HAVE to serve people, it says so in the Bible." "I HAVE to love my family or else God won't be pleased with me."<br />
<br />
The craziest part? Those statements have an element of truth to them. We are commanded to love our God before anything else and with all our strength and then to love one another, those aren't suggestions, they are orders. This whole <i>have to</i> syndrome exudes the twisted logic of our enemy. The difference between doing it because we <i>have to </i>and because we <i>want to </i>may seem subtle but I have just discovered that it makes a monumental difference to how the people around you react to whatever it is you are trying to do.<br />
<br />
Is God sitting in His throne room all disgusted with me because it took me so long to have this 'ah ha' moment? Is Jesus at His right hand shaking His head in disbelief that I've wasted all these years locked in an unhealthy mindset? Nope, not at all. They know where it came from, they knew when they'd have to show it to me and how. They are rejoicing that I get it, that I don't want to go back. They will be there to remind me of the truth when I get stressed out and the old pattern struggles to reassert itself. And they will help me beat it back again. <br />
<br />
And here is the hope and assurance part of this blog post. I did not put my hand up and ask to develop a crippling 'have to' syndrome. I had no intentions of infecting my entire household with it. Until three days ago, I didn't even know the thing existed. God wants me to love Him because I want to, Jesus wants me to serve Him because I want to. And I don't even have to have the strength to make that transformation. I can just say, "I don't want to <i>have to </i>any more, I want to <i>want to,</i>" and He will do the miracle.<br />
<br />
If He can and will do it for me, He can and will do it for you. Does life just seem like drudgery, day in and day out? Do you drag yourself out of bed each morning because you <i>have to</i>? It doesn't need to be that way. Those thoughts that you will plod through life until you die are lies. Let Him show you the truth. Let Him slay that monster for you, let Him give you a real picture of Himself. Let Him help you <i>want to.</i></div>
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reintjes1991http://www.blogger.com/profile/01376499292114210621noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2533772143259786629.post-8491179694967533922012-10-24T11:50:00.000-07:002012-10-24T11:54:36.497-07:00Why The Blog<div style="text-align: justify;">
ACOA technically means Adult Child(ren) of Alcoholics. I am morphing it to my own meaning for the purposes of this blog. Adult Children of Abuse. And my range of abuse is quite inclusive. Physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and neglect. For the purpose of this blog, when I speak about abuse, I mean abuse that happened when the person was a child, and for the most part, for a long period of time. I am not denying that one time abuse, especially in the instance of sexual abuse, is not devastating. And lots of what I write here will also apply to situations such as that. But generally, I will be referring to abuse as prolonged dysfunction in a family situation, that significantly molds the character of a person.</div>
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I am no 'expert' in any of the areas that this blog may dare to go. I have no degrees or doctorates in psychology, counseling or psychiatry. In fact it took me about seven tries to even spell that last one. But I have experience. I am an ACOA. I don't feel the need to go into details about that, suffice it to say I have first hand knowledge of how some of this plays out.</div>
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If I use any technical jargon it will have come from books I've read on the subject in my 'free time'. I am not likely to remember which book exactly and may even mess up the technical jargon.</div>
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The entire purpose of this blog is to give people hope. The most important thing you need to know about me is that I know that the true source of this hope is in and comes from Jesus.</div>
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</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
This is my favorite scene from the movie 'Shrek'.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000196/">Shrek</a></b>: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think. <br />
<b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000552/">Donkey</a></b>: Example? </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000196/">Shrek</a></b>: Example... uh... ogres are like onions! <br />
[<i class="fine">holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs</i>] <br />
<b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000552/">Donkey</a></b>: They stink? <br />
<b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000196/">Shrek</a></b>: Yes... No! <br />
<b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000552/">Donkey</a></b>: Oh, they make you cry? <br />
<b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000196/">Shrek</a></b>: No! <br />
<b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000552/">Donkey</a></b>: Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs... <br />
<b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000196/">Shrek</a></b>: [<i class="fine">peels an onion</i>] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. <br />
[<i class="fine">walks off</i>] <br />
<b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000552/">Donkey</a></b>: Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. What about cake? Everybody loves cake! <br />
<b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000196/">Shrek</a></b>: I don't care what everyone else likes! Ogres are not like cakes.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0126029/quotes)</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
ACOAs are like ogres, they have layers like onions. Thick layers, thin layers, layers upon layers. Their layers are not like cakes. The layers can be coarse, partially missing and are quite often rotten beneath a deceivingly smooth outer shell.</div>
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This is not to say that people who have not experienced abuse have perfect lives or are not complicated, by any means. Every human being on the face of the planet is complex. We were created to be. Realistically in this day and age, in this fallen world, I would guess that the percentage of people who <i>have not</i> experienced some sort of soul damaging abuse is probably <i>lower</i> than that of people who have been abused. More plainly put, almost everyone has been subject to some form of abuse at some point in their lives. But again, in this blog, I will be mostly addressing prolonged, childhood abuse.</div>
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And I think I'll leave that there. I want to keep these short and to the point as best I can. So, if something seems incomplete, please let me know and I will do my best to modify.</div>
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reintjes1991http://www.blogger.com/profile/01376499292114210621noreply@blogger.com0